EP.04: Creating a World from the Inside Out

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Welcome. This is the first good I’ve released since being in quarantine. We’re heading into the third week now and wosh, I think I said, wow, and gosh at the same time. Wosh I’m going to make that a new word besides needing to make up words to describe how I’m feeling. I would add that I’m very grateful for making meditation a strong part of my routine, a strong part of my daily experience because it’s moments like these meditation isn’t enlightenment for the sake of enlightenment.

It’s to be able to handle challenges. It’s to be able to handle breakdown of society, of structures, of identity, of self and to reconfigure, to be able to strengthen and in show up in a new way. What I’m feeling most challenged by right now is not being able to rely on my number one love language, which is physical touch.

Gosh. Like I would receive so much of it in a day and I would see a lot of clients and we hugged before and after sessions. So definitely I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that a minute for the hugs. I miss my dog. She’s on the East coast so I’m missing her snuggles right now so I am relying more on my second love language, which is Google docs. Yeah, that’s what I’m telling you right now. I am unapologetically sharing with you that I am a tech nerd and I love Google docs, so that’s my second love language that it comes more naturally right now since we’re more online and if you have some kind of document that can somehow simplify my life, then you have the key to my heart. I spent a good chunk of my day to day organizing my Google drive. 

As you heard in my last episode, I dropped my hard drive, womp womp. It was a sad day, but good news is that my episodes are going to be even more relatable and more fresh and they’re going to also be consistent. So I’m getting back to outing myself as a tech nerd. I really do love technology. I mean, if it wasn’t for technology, we wouldn’t even be connecting right now and living in San Francisco, I’m sort of my people, you know, there’s an app for everything. I started watching Silicon Valley finally, and I find it very true. Everybody thinks they’re going to change the world with technology out here. And while I love tech, I use it as a tool, but I don’t really create my world from it. And in this episode, I’m going to explain why I don’t think tech is really here to solve the problems of humanity at the core level. 

I do believe that tech is here as a tool, but the core level of humanity is going to need something else. And understanding that I could organize my spreadsheets for hours, but it’s not going to necessarily change my life. I was thinking about this a lot, um, since even before COBIT 19 even before this year. Like this has been on my mind for very long time, but something I knew I needed to start to share that organizing our outer world, there’s a glass ceiling to that and there could be a pressure right now to stay productive in this time inside your home. But are you lost and locked into the same pattern of focusing your attention on building a false foundation? 

So if you’re tuning in for the first time or you just don’t know too much about me, I’ll share with you that a lot of my training comes from metaphysical and esoteric teachings that are rooted in 3000 years of lineage. And I’ve been on this path within this framework, within this structure for eight years now. And even before that I was a yoga instructor, had been practicing for years. I had dabbled in Buddhism and and had been meditating for a while. So it wasn’t like brand new eight years ago, but it gave me the structure and the framework to start to understand things that I had been thinking about just on a deeper level and introduced me to some principles and some ways of seeing the world that took some of those scattered concepts and made it more concrete for me. 

About a month ago I went to the SoulCycle class that I’ll never forget the way that the instructor shared something on this topic that I’m going to discuss today was so simple yet so profound, and it was one of those moments where I was like, yes, I hope that everyone here in the room can really hold on, digest and apply the things that he’s saying. You know, maybe it was just for me in the process of this episode, who knows? But I hope that people caught onto what he was saying and I’m going to share it in a minute and a minute, but yeah, I’m also going to just out myself as a soul cycle fan because why not? I’m already outing myself as a tech nerd, so I’m into the tap backs, the double tap backs, all of it. And luckily it’s like a five minute walk from my place here in the Castro. 

So I go often or I was going often before, you know, getting locked down here in my house and I had to share what he said on this episode because I sense there are a lot of people right now who are grappling with this, with this issue of trying to find some kind of joy in their day and probably going about it all the wrong way and perhaps having difficulties like this instructor shared. So what he said was essentially he had an amazing day. It was a Monday. He worked out, he did all his laundry, he cleaned his house, he organized his closets, he was about to go have sushi with his boyfriend and he opened up the window into his living room and the window completely shattered. And he said to the group, you think because I had my outside life together, I would have been able to handle this issue, this challenge. 

He said, but the truth was I was a complete mess. I saran wrap the window and it was okay but I was still really angry, I was stressed and that kind of emotion he said just lingered throughout my whole evening. I bled into everything and it was such a great example about how we try to control our outside world and we assume that if we, how our outside world together that we will, we will emotionally be more stable and more secure, that there’s any kind of safety in controlling our outside world. Focusing on the outer reality of our life does not equate to being calmer. And I want to point out that if you’re living a life like a checklist you’re in for a long game of whack-a-mole. Do you remember that game? It was at Chuckie cheese where you hit this alligator and like another one pops out and it’s this continual motion of this never ending most annoying game in the world. 

And I just remember that as a kid and it has always stuck in my mind when I would try to perfect something in my life or put something in its place and think that I’m in control and then something else pops up so we can be constantly chasing for this ideal life that we will never get from the same emotional state of frustration or anger or sadness or worry or anxiety. I was on the same path as this soul cycle instructor. When he shared that story, I knew that what he was saying was my life verbatim years ago and I would take those five minutes of challenge and label it as a bad day too, and it would snowball into eating binges or self-loathing addictive behavior. Our outer reality is a reflection of what’s happening inside of us. 

In this ancient mystery school tradition, we study the her Medica, which is a philosophy on the laws of creation and out of these seven laws of creation, there’s one that is very important to talk about on this episode. It’s the law of correspondence which States, in other words, our reality is a reflection of what’s going on inside of us. The outer world is simply a mirror of our internal experience like I had said before, but this also indicates that the world is divided into these two planes of existence, the physical and the spiritual worlds, and that the spiritual world is our true foundation and the physical is the outer reflection of that. Another way to perhaps understand this is that our current reality, the reality that we live every day is a result of what’s going on inside each and every one of us. 

So going back to the example of gym, tan laundry checklist sort of life, this was an example of focusing on the outer world, not really being very masterful because there’s not a clear understanding of how the direction of energy is getting sent outwards. And it doesn’t necessarily mean that, yeah, you’re in control by trying to control the outer world. It’s actually very opposite. The outer world does not dictate, um, you know, your eternal self and in the foundation, the outer world is going to fall the inner world. So the physical reality we lived in is formed by the reality of our experience inwardly. So if you can think of a time in your life when you were affected by negative thoughts, right? Think about a moment in which you were affected by negativity and you responded, right? You took an action based on a thought that you had, which caused a ripple in your, not just your life, but the lives of many others. 

So these principles go deeper, but most often we’re not even conscious of the life that we’re creating. If you choose to make the unseen seen through different levels of mastery, it is possible to have permanent results in your life. But as long as the unseen and the things that you’re not becoming aware of is having a hold on your life, you may see, you may have this idea that it’s someone else’s fault. It might bring you into more of a victim mentality, a perception that it’s something outside of your experience that’s causing you to feel this way. And that’s when we get really stuck in our lives is when we feel like, well, when the world goes back to normal and this idea that you know, the world is going to go back to normal isn’t even possible. We have expanded during this time of quarantine where we can’t, I’m learn what we’ve learned, right? 

This, this time of being by ourselves, this time of examining what’s not working in our lives, what’s not working in the structure, our economy, what’s not working environmentally, what’s not working with how we treat each other. Um, what’s not working with, just in terms of our day to day and maybe how we’ve been burnt out and now getting more sleep, more rest. Um, all the ways that we were occupying space and time before we can’t unlearn, can’t really go back. Of course the world could try to go back to what we think is normalcy, but that expansion of consciousness has already happened. Um, when I say expansion of consciousness, we’re bringing light to the things that we were in the dark about. I find this law to be very empowering at this time because it gives me that reminder that even when I feel out of control, I am still in control of how I want to exert my energy, how I want to spend my energy, where I want to direct my energy and my mind and my thoughts is creating my outer experience, right? 

So by taking this time to meditate, to do journaling, to reflect, I’m taking all those accumulated thought forms and I’m able to start to see what was blocking me and what was getting in the way of having a more harmonious foundation that would give me the experience that I truly desire versus trying to buy clothing and, and trying to redecorate my home and do all of these things that might make me feel good temporarily, right? Decorating my outer world. But if I’m not dismantling my inner world and in making that beautiful inwardly, it’s going to be a very fragile foundation externally. 

This is the time right now to make your inner foundation strong. And if you’re someone who’s like, I want to change the world, I want to help the world. By you doing the reflection work and meditating, that’s how you help the world. By you becoming a master of what was previously not something you were aware of, and then bringing awareness to it so that you can work with it and question your narrative question, the belief systems that you have to really know what you even want and to figure out even in this time of sorrow, what brings you joy, what brings you back to a state of a liveliness?

Because buying the stuff and having everything in your world looking a certain way isn’t really going to be sustainable. You’re always going to be walking on eggshells with yourself cause that one challenge, that one thing that comes your way, you might be experiencing it now. If you don’t have a strong sense of self and you don’t really know what it is that’s going to bring you back to center more quickly. It’s going to be a long, long journey of that whack-a-mole game I was speaking about earlier. You’re always trying to hit it. I’m still doing it. As a crocodile alligator, you’re always trying to hit that crocodile and there’s always something else popping out at you. 

Can you take this time to look at what is it that you need to do? What is it that you’ve been avoiding within yourself? 

Start to heal, to start to move beyond to use this time, even if it feels like it’s not the right time. I have found that you can change in any circumstance and sometimes when you’re hitting a rock bottom, whether you’ve just lost your job or you work in the service industry or some kind of industry where you’re working with people in person, this could be a great time to find a new passion, find a new way to serve others. We have so many gifts in so many inner resources, we can pivot, but if you’re on the outside Googling all day trying to look for a new job, you know, just skimming the surface, you’re going to be rattling your brain. It’s going to be very difficult to figure out where to put your energy and your time. You might feel overwhelmed right now if you’re used to going out and you have your certain routine, your hobbies, and you know you’re on the zoom calls and you’re just saturated with this external stimulation still, um, you may not be feeling that sense of connection that you’re desiring. 

By meditating, you will figure out so much about yourself. And right now that’s what I’m doing mostly is meditating, teaching, meditation, and from that space of clarity, creating, and I’ll be honest with you, when this lockdown first took place, I noticed the first couple of days I was panic creating a bit, you know, I was like, Oh, I, I felt that urgency, that sense of urgency to do something. And then I slowed down and I realized I’m going to waste a lot of time creating something and then having to scrap it and then create something new. So if you’re wanting to save time, if you’re wanting to make something worthwhile during quarantine, I recommend getting to know yourself better to make use of this law correspondence. If you want to change the world, if you want to make the world a better place, if you want to enter this new reality, once we got a quarantine and now go back to normalcy, you start to dismantle who you think you are and, and let this process happen, right? 

Surrender to what’s going on because there’s so much gold that could be happening for you right now if you allow it. If you’ve been thinking about starting a meditation practice during this time of lockdown and beyond the lockdown, depending on when you’re listening to this, I recommend going to my website, You’ll learn a little bit more about that free experience that you can jump on. It’s only five minutes a day if you’re looking for something more than that. I currently have an experience every Tuesday at 4:00 PM pacific time and I have random Instagram lives that I’m doing in collaboration with other businesses and with other people. So you can take a look. Um, you know, when you’re on Instagram, and I usually keep that up for a day or so, whatever, whenever it disappears. So there’s lots of opportunities, different timeframes of meditation experiences, uh, different platforms. And this is available to you and I hope you take advantage of it. 

Build a stronger foundation to up-level your life.

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